A Dino called Tyrone. Florida September 2025. Day 7

Well well well…Mickey sure knows how to party; I wonder what those candies were laced with? Whatever it was…we have 20kg of the good stuff. Calm down customs, it’s just Halloween Candy…I ain’t no drug mule for the mouse…honest. Mind you…we do keep paying over the odds to get back to the Magic Kingdom; maybe he has added something a little extra special…pixie dust? Well that’s one word for it; naughty Mr Mouse.

All this to say…we got in at 1.30am, and are absolutely knackered! Our night of candy hunting and partying at the Zom-Beats Bash (bit mental…100’s of kids passing bags of ‘M&M’s about like a 90’s drug party; don’t eat to blue ones kids…) had really taken it out of us…so, change of plans: Islands of Adventure today; let’s have a lie in…

Thank god, we’ll do Hollywood Studios next week…can’t deal with the walk of shame back to the land of Mouse today; I’m fragile.

Coffee…give me coffee. Starbucks comes to the rescue once more (I’d started to have withdraws and ended up cheating on them with Joffreys; they’re nothing compared to you my sweet sweet starbies). Doing very little to actually wake me up, and with my feet more on fire than a fire dancing fire dancer (the perfect analogy), we were finally mustering enough energy to wander out the door…slowly, VERY SLOWLY…

Alaska couldn’t even keep her shoes on…this made the now  painfully long garden walk even longer…“Dad…my shoe fell off…now my other shoe fell off”. Would help if you kept them on your feet Alaska, but what do I know, I’ve only been practicing for 38 years…

After searching us for Mickeys Candied Contraband, we make it through security, in to Islands and straight for breakfast. Paige would be so disappointed in me…once more we choose Croissant Moon over Cinnabon, and I brace myself for the retrospective abuse from Cinnabons number 1 fan. Some delicious breakfast pastries here; don’t you think Alaska? Apple Danish is it little Loo?…good choice…oh, umm…you don’t like it then? OK I’ll swap…oh, you don’t like mine either? Bloody hell mun!!! I’ve already gained weight, and now I’ll have to eat both of these? I’m devastated; honestly…And all whilst watching Grayson eating his muffin with a spoon…A BLOODY SPOON!! Thank god Alaska finished it off for him (yep, we finally found a winner on the third attempt). Muffin decimated, table covered in crumbs and Alaska now a chocolate covered demon princess…

Marvel Superhero Island, quick blast on Dr Dooms Fear Failure (you can see why this is only a 10 min wait). Queue is great, story is decent…ride is…well; the ride. The scariest part of the ride was when my harness kept popping off just before I was launched to my death. Yep…harvest my fear; this time it’s real.

Make our way through Toon Lagoon, get hit on by Betty Boop and grab a new UOAP freestyle cup; all in a days work…

“I wanna go on that ride that we get chased by Raptors”…sure why not, let’s see if Grayson’s mysterious second path has emerged. What a surprise…that pesky Hadrosaur; done it again. At least Alaska gets her Raptor chasing fun; though she had more of a jump scare from the geyser erupting.

All those Dinosaurs, and nothing quite compares to the Jurassic tantrum in the Jurassic gift shop though. I think I hear the T-Rex legging it in the other direction; I’m scared too. After a few new songs about different hats, Alaska decided the audience needed another form of entertainment. Shock/horror/drama…ladies and gentlemen; the very versatile Queen Alaska.

Finally calmed down, and just in time to meet a real life Dinosaur!!! The kids met a baby Raptor and even got to stroke them while trying not to get bitten…by Alaska. She can be awful vicious on times.

Oh go on then, since we’re here…Velocicoaster!! 25 minutes, what is this madness…it was 10 last week…ridiculous!!! Jo gets front row, I get some bloke booing Chris Pratt. Keep booing bud, I’m sure he’ll be crying into his millions. It’s the little wins I guess. Speaking of which…Velocicoaster: back row…excellent, but doesn’t half batter you around these days…aging like a Dinosaur. Top 3 coaster though…absolutely love it.

Time to venture into the Discovery Centre to check up on Bluey the baby Raptor, and to see whether the money I spent on Alaskas palaeontology degree was paying off. “This Dinosaur is pregnant, and this one is just fat…but don’t tell them that; they get really upset”…ahhh, maybe that’s why the T-Rex is always angry…people keep calling them fat. Poor thing…Jurassic Park takes a whole new spin now knowing the T-Rex has been victimised.

JUSTICE FOR THE T-REX!!!

“Dean, Dean…watch this…”Jordan takes out a handful of Mickeys super special Halloween candy and starts waving it above her head…”kids…kids…come on…”. Bloody hell mun. Security arrives, Jordan spends the next 10 minutes explaining she was hunting our kids with candy…I tell them she’s  renowned for this…we all laugh. Well…not Jordan; she’s due in court next month…

Right you little Witchs, time for a change of scenery…ALL ABOARD THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS!! Magically transported half way across the world in under 5 minutes (see Gray, magic IS real), we head from Hogsmead to Diganelly (…well that’s what Harry calls it anyways). Get duped by the Dragon (he huffed and puffed and did bugger all else…), get conned by the princess, and wander the Wizarding World like we were in a Potter themed scavenger hunt. What’s the prize? Oh a $40 dog plush…really? Doesn’t sound like I’ve won really…

“I got Fangy”…oh brilliant, welcome to the family you dribbling, non magical beast. Good ole Fangy. In fairness, Alaska absolutely loved this plush, and was owed one. Enjoy Fangy babes; and what a wonderful way to get round any copyright infringement.

Grayson meanwhile, had just bust opened a Dino called Tyrone…Tyrone? Are you sure Gray!? “Yes it’s the perfect name for him?”…is it though? I’m all for human names for animals, but Tyrone…really?

Now we have a Dinosaur called Tyrone…he’s cool and he sits on your shoulder…good boy Tyrone. Where the hell did he get that bloody name from?

…must be all the Mickey drugs (ahem, I mean candy).

Park is closing early tonight due to HHN, so we flip a coin; Fast and Furious or The Simpsons? Heads: The Simpsons…Tails?: The Simpsons. No way in hell we are doing F&F!! I mean The Simpsons is diabolical, and a poor replacement for Back to the Future…but Fast and Furious; talk about Fast becoming the most Furiously hated attraction at Universal. I swear, if there was prize money for completing every ride in the park, you have people willingly giving up the money just to avoid it. As the late, great Michael Jackson once sang…🎶It’s bad, it’s bad…shamone🎶

All that to say…we ride The Simpsons, where Alaska adopted her now classic side step pee dance just as we are boarding…can you hold it 10 seconds babe?? Board, ride, get chased by Bob…don’t pee ; I’m beginning to suspect ahe’s lying to me. Second worst ride in the park (and yes I’m counting the trollercaoster) done…let’s leave and try not to shed any tears at missing out on HHN this evening. I only cried once ok? Alaska was teaching me how to have a proper tantrum about it…but it fell on deaf ears and we eventually exited for a little walk to the Hard Rock Hotel.

A short walk?? This place was ages away. Eventually arrived browsed the shop, bought a shirt and swiftly exited before Grayson destroys every fragile thing in the shop, and we get rumbled at not being guests. “I smell peasants…” quick Jo, that bloke by the bar is on to us.

No way we’re walking back…it takes bloody ages! Premium hotel? I would have walked from London to Orlando quicker. Mind you…we are flagging today. Luckily Jordan brought handfuls of candy with her to sustain us.

Back to the land of the peasant; where we belong. Getting late now…tonight’s destination; Panda Express. Love this place, and even with a few meal upgrades, we ended up with a ton of food to feed a ravenous Grayson and Alaska. You’d swear they hadn’t eaten anything since 11am or something…and even then, Alaska had only sniffed an Apple Danish, and fed off Grayson’s muffin crumbs.

All the orange chicken please…and fill the rest with Honey Walnut Shrimp. Absolutely delightful…just gutted the kids also enjoyed it, which meant we had to share….terrible times, especially with Grayson double forking it all. Me and Mam don’t need to eat anyways…

Full of a mix of chicken done 6 ways, noodles and spring rolls, we then headed to the shops to stock up on some more merch…that looks pretty and will never be worn; get in my basket. Another HHN shirt? Add it to the pile. Memories Dean, it’s for the memories…

Pick up some Voodoo, get shouted at by the staff for not deciding fast enough, eventually choose and head back to Cabana Bay, big pink box in tow. Shop is so cool, and donuts are delicious…what’s not to like??  Donuts for breakfast tomorrow yeah? No not the ones we just bought, we’re far greedier than that…Silly’s.

Hotel, change, pool and movie, complete with little pink box. Poolside donuts while Gray and Alaska make friends and immediately start scheming. It was like watching Point Break. The movie begins…a mass of yellow life jackets flood the shallow end, and eventually the movie kicks on. The kids quickly disperse and eventually the kids decide it’s more fun to try and drown me instead of watching the movie. How do you know your kids love you? Well I presume they’d not try drown you for one.

Eventually get them out of the pool (between bits of there donut for “energy”), and back to the room for an early night. We’re all ruined today, and really need a bit of sleep.

HHN again tomorrow, and we need rest…we’re closing the event!!! Cannot wait though…the kids are going to love it; maybe?!