Fancy Hotdogs and Delicious Donuts...the filler episode

A strange blog…but I haven’t done one in a few weeks…so here ya go 😂

It’s been weird the last few weeks…devoid of any theme park action. Early mornings and 3 hour road trips have been replaced by lie ins (what the hell are those??!!) and short commutes to Bridgend to visit WhoCult Donuts and MacArthur Glen. It’s been strange…and I don’t even this we have a park planned for this whole month (I know…shock, horror, devastation); don’t worry…July, August, September and October are going to be stuffed fuller than a fat man at an all you can eat buffet.

So yeah…quick breakdown of last week before we head into today…Jordan got bored and Leopard printed Jeff the Pug (oh yeah…we now have a Pug; don’t ask). Jeff and Elsa accompanied us for a Sunday jaunt to Who Cult to enjoy some comically sized, bloody delicious nuts of dough. Elsa nagged for a plain cinnamon twist, I denied on account of Elsa not actually being able to talk and suspecting Jordan of puppeteering her in a sick attempt to secure another treat. No idea how she managed to make her mouth move, but we all know where a ventriloquists hand goes right??!! Bloody disgusting Jo!!!

After watching Jordan channeling her inner Keith Harris and Poodling up Orville the Duck…we headed to MacArthur Glen for a bit of shopping and showing off…well, Jordan wanted to; I hate attention 🙄. It was mental…walk 3 feet, get stopped, get asked if Jeff’s pattern was real, convince people he was a rare Leo-Pug cross breed that required strict licensing to keep, move on, repeat. So yeah…that was fun; for all of 5 minutes. Think we’ll leave the dogs behind next time.

So yeah…back to this week. Jordan decided we weren’t worthy of her company once again and instead opted for a 10 hour grooming competition rather than spending the time with us; kids…I’m beginning to think she doesn’t like us. Screw it!!, we don’t like her either!! “yeah screw you mammy”…chill out Alaska, I was joking mun 🙄

What you wanna do today then kids? You know, since mammy hates us and would rather do her job for free than come with us (bloody hell I’m chancing it with all these statements; Jordan, I’m joking…calm down). “Hotdogs!!!”. What? That’s what you wanna do? hotdogs?

So here was the dilemma…where the hell was I gonna get hotdogs? Now…in retrospect; ANYWHERE!!!. I could have gone to Tesco or Lidl or (enter generic shop) and bought some for a few quid. I could have even gone to Costco for a half decent day out and dirt cheap dogs. Where did we go??

Come on kids…fancy a Five Guys?? Yep; back to MaccyGlens. Minus the mutts (calm down Jo, I know they’re pedigree) this time though; I can’t deal with all that attention two weeks in a row.

First stop…the bank; need to remortgage to afford the food in Five Guys; damn worth the debt though.

Come on then kiddies, let’s go get the most expensive fast food known to man. Rocked up pre lunch time…perfect, the place is dead and actually manage to get a seat in Five Guys (this is unusual as it’s normally full to the brim with upper middle class families flexing their wealth). £7 for a bloody hotdog mun…what? you kids want one each too?? Bloody hell mun; my weekly Starbucks intake is gonna take a battering if I’m paying out today. £25 quid and a few Dean tears later and the kids are eagerly awaiting the reason they don’t have a university fund.

Ok, so I’m moaning about the price a little…just a little; but they are damned delicious.

“Are our drawings still there?” Funny enough Gray, masterpieces as they were, I don’t think the Five Guys management would be keeping 2 half assed crayon drawings on their wall for the last year since we visited. Don’t worry kid, create a new masterpiece; Five Guys loss…just wait. Gotta say; the art is abstract mind, but maybe we can make up for the losses.

Quickly hammer a few handfuls of complimentary peanuts in a manner that would make a Circus Elephant jealous…Dumbo? Nah you wanna see Grayson and a peanut. We even found a triple peanut; mind blowing (these are the levels I’ve sank to for content; I need my theme park days back 😂).

So yeah…delicious food, and a bankrupt Dean; at least I could sell Grayson and Alaska’s masterpieces to recoup some of my losses.

SHOPPING TIME!! “Dad, I wanna go to the Stitch Shop!”. Nope… Avoiding Claires Accessories today, fed up of having my nails painted 🙄. We all know that’s a lie right? Alaska is painting my nails as I write this 😂. Glow in the dark nail polish incase anyone is wondering; GLOW TOES!!!

Manage to not buy random shoes in the Vans shop; I’ve got a problem, I need help, and then head to the Play Area for a quick game of ‘piss about and not listen to Dad’. Fun game. To be fair they did stop when I began having a mild mental breakdown; cheers kids, knowing their boundaries.

Whittards then? Yeah nothing more fun than watching your kids drink their body weight in sample hot chocolate and loudly guilting you into buying £20 of hot chocolate. “Ooo Dad I wanna try that one”, “ooo Dad I wanna tray that one too”. Yep we get it kids…I’ll just buy the bloody lot, still got a few quid remaining from my Five Guys loan. Mad price for hot chocolate mind, but damn is it delicious. Should last all of a week until the novelty wears off and it gets wasted…money well spent.

So full of chocolate that the kids now smelled like they’d taken on Willy Wonks and his Loompas of Peril in a chocolate filled death match (apparently Oompa Loompas bleed chocolate), we headed on to our next chocolate destination; the Cadbury Shop. Always nice to see how hard inflation hits the chocolate industry…no wonder poor Willy Wonka was passing his factory on to Charlie; get out while you can Wills. Walk in, walk out…let’s go kids; these are Disney prices…Who Cult is calling me.

In a repeat of last week (I’m not very imaginative), we head to Who Cult to finish our tour of overpriced eateries and stock up on a few donuts and coffee. I do bloody love this place mind.

So yeah…from then, visitors Mags to show her I was still alive and headed home.

It’s been a strange few weeks…I’m not used to this relaxing pace. Normal service resumes soon; promise.