Le Shuttle to Mount Olympus. Euro Road Trip Day 4: The Fletchers return…to Drury Lane

It’s time to travel back to the UK for the last leg of our brief foray into Europe. Got a few things planned over the next few days before we head home, but for now…it’s time to travel (and travel, and travel….). I may have planned this leg of the journey a little bit wrong; we had an overnight stop in Wavre, Belgium (I know, I’ve never heard of it either…), where I thought was the halfway point between Brühl and Calais, but the sat nav is giving me the devastating news that I have a 3 hour journey to Le Shuttle…great!!

Better get a move on I guess…we don’t want a repeat of the 2023 fiasco; mistimed, misjudged, missed train…learn your lesson Dean; don’t be THAT guy.

Anywhooo…wake up from the dodgiest of dodgy hotel stays. Best Western…great on first appearance, huge room and all that (seriously lucked out with the room sizes), but then it all spiralled down hill. OK, I’m being classicly Dean dramatic, but it was boiling and the air con was on strike (typical continental worker…it’s a joke, calm down 🙄), the room door didn’t want to shut, and for some reason, the TV was in a some strange foreign language…

Knackered this morning mind…almost like the fun and excitement of the last few days had culminated in my downfall; well that and the fact that the window to our room was effectively a glass door that when opened, led to an unprotected fire escape 2 floors up in the air. Health and safety? I think not…welcome to the continent 😂. Seriously though; nightmares of the kids sleep walking to their doom…the solution; barricade the window with whatever items I could find…chairs? Yeah chuck them in the barricade, suit cases? Yeah chuck them in the barricade? Jordan?…yeah you guessed it…

Luckily my Jordan barricade worked and the Wavre Best Weston did not become a crime scene…let’s hope we’re at ground level for tonight’s jaunt to the Watford North Premier Inn.

Alarm was heavily snoozed to the point I was in genuine panic when I finally managed to rouse myself; enter a Home Alone montage…unfortunately though despite our best efforts, Grayson managed to catch on and swiftly jumped in the van as we were leaving…so close…

3 hour drive to the tunnel filled with various traffic jams, a cheeky Starbucks, and Jordan’s butchering of place names (ahhh, what the hell have I married??). Not too bad a drive and actually made it in time; see, personal growth…

Quick check in, earlier train? Yes please…cannot believe how well this plan is coming together; something’s got to go awry right? Well…

A quick pee stop, and a stock up on Ice Cream later and our smugness turned into disappointment as boarder control were set to foil our merriment and throw a spanner in the works. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!…well, not immediately anyways; please wait in this ridiculously long line, let us run a dirty drug sniffing probe over your door handle and steering wheel, and check your passports to make sure you’re not smuggling kids over the boarder first.

Now kids…don’t do anything stupid…”HI, I’M GRAYSON”…”AND I’M ALASKA!!!”…cue a montage of ridiculous statements and general kid-iocy (kid idiocy…I’m coining the phrase). Honestly, if you want to keep them this side of the boarder, be our guest…we’ve had this for the last 4 days 😂

After being forced to keep the kids (I’m joking, I couldn’t live without them), we manage a quick boarding on to the train and make our way back through the tunnel, narrowly avoiding Carbon Dioxide poisoning as someone in our carriage attempts a strange murder/suicide. Hold your breath kids…it’s going to be a long crossing.

Daylight arrives, and we finally breath some fresh air following our world record breath holding (someone call Guinness; though I’m convinced Grayson was cheating and nose breathing the whole time…note; keep an eye for delirium over the next few hours).

TO WATFORD!!! Let’s try not to get shafted by Operation Brock this time.

My god that took a long time…navigating my sat nav to avoid ULEZ, Random Ferry crossings and something called a DART charge? I’m sure by now the councils are just making up words to scam people out of hard earned money…the equivalent of a high school bully picking you upside down and shaking any loose change from your pockets; ‘London: we know how to take your cash!!’. No idea they had a slogan for it, but apparently it goes back to good ole Borris’ days.

An additional hour to our travel time, but it was worth it…only got fleeced by Greggs, but did get a few sausage rolls in return so I guess it was a fair trade. By the way…when did Greggs start requiring you to sell an organs to get a few baguettes and sausage rolls?? They know the people want their delicious pastry like a Canadian crack addict…even saw someone shooting a smooshed up Yum Yum directly into their veins.

Finally arrive at possibly the worst Premier Inn I’ve ever been too…ooo, a TGI Fridays; nope. Boarded up, closed down and looking like a scene from a 28 days later…holy hell, are we sure we’re safe here? Don’t give much hope when the reception area smelt mildly of vomit, the door button was broken, the self check in had given up on life and there was a sign to say the lifts were broken. £134 well spent…at least it’s got a parking space though; prime real estate around these parts.

Swift change…well kinda; you’d swear Grayson wasn’t part of an Emo family with his reluctance to wear skinny jeans. Then it was time to plan our route into London; meticulously planned to avoid a £15 congestion charge. Honestly, I was panicking putting a militarily precise operation in to motion whilst the kids used the Premier Inn beds as a trampoline park…right, I think I’ve got it; LETS ROLL!!!…well, after Grayson finds his shoes (Alaska had ‘pranked’ him and hidden them around the room…Alaska, the only person you’re pranking is me and my plan).

Precision timing as I managed to save £15 on a congestion charge (kerching…it’s like the Hercules magnet I’m about to buy is free). Bloody hell though…I do not enjoy driving in London…far too much temptation to run down pedestrians as they brazenly wander into traffic in some weird game of chicken. Never seen so many pedestrians willing to chance death for a Costa Coffee; I mean a Starbucks I’d understand…

The pedestrians of London safe…for now, we manage to find our parking spot; Urban Parking. Yeah it’s £30 for 4 hours, but it’s literally a 5 minute walk from the theatre, and the thought of navigating public transport with Pain and Panic in tow wasn’t worth saving a few quid.

Speaking of Pain and Panic (who incidentally don’t appear in the show…spoiler; well unless you count Bob and Charles…If you know, you know). It’s time for HERCULES!!!

Bless my soul, we’ve been looking forward to this for a while, just wish I’d saved up a small fortune for all the merch. You know I love merch right?…just a magnet and programme for me please; “That’ll be one kidney please Sir”…oh and a hoody…which organ would you be willing to trade for that?? Quality merch mind…

Prising myself away, as I’m in the middle of processing a new loan, we head into the auditorium…holy hell…this place is beautiful, so picturesque and set really well for the show.

Following a solid 20 minutes of torture from our very own Hades Henchmen (I mean seriously kids?? Poor Jordan was getting wet willies and beat boxing from Grayson, and not so subtly screamed at by Alaska). Oh thank the gods…the show is starting.

The muses appear and applause fills the room…hell yes…let’s do this!!!

Hercules is one of my favourite Disney movies (did you guys know I liked Disney??), so was really looking forward to this. The Muses were incredible, the sets were awe inspiring, and the cast in general were great. I mean…Hades was played like a pantomime villain (which took a lot of getting used to), and Herc butched possibly the best Hero ballad of all time, but wow, what a fantastic show!! Genuinely pretty blown away by it…over 2 hours long and it absolutely flew. Would thoroughly recommend…just don’t take the kids 🙄 (thought they had an absolutely fantastic time).

Leg it back to collect the van and save a tenner late pick up fee before heading back to the hotel for the evening. Kids fast asleep…time for my own Herculean display (ladies please control yourselves); carrying them both from the van to the room…almost killed me.

Up early for the last day bit of fun of the trip…Harry Potter Studio Tour…