Parisian Cafes, Kong Country & Toothless Dragons. Florida September 2025: Day 10

Ahhhh the twinkling lights of Epic universe gentle sent us to sleep last night. Some amazing park views and sooo cool to see the park empty and lit up all night. Was it bright? Did it keep me awake at times? Did it limit my bed space on account of Grayson and Alaska both also wanting a window view? Yep, yep and yep…but well worth it!!

Morning arrives and with it the immediate anxiety of getting first in line for Battle of the Ministry. First though…let’s admire the morning views, before they get plagued with people…can always count on people to sooo it (us included…the sight of Grayson and Alaska fighting across Celestial Park is enough to break anyone’s ideas of peace and tranquility…well either that, or they’d chuck bets on a winner; always go with Alaska…she’s fiesty!!

Pop downstairs for a quick coffee at the local Starbucks; damn do I miss the Cabana Bay Starbucks. They have a better selection of my favourite flavours to mask the taste of the Colombian good stuff; I mean coffee of course 🙄  (though I do enjoy a pure blend, I do enjoy a pecan oat milk  half caff, no foam Mochachinno; it’s the only way to start the morning). Oh, and $7 a cookie??!! Listen they look half decent, but unless they are sprinkles with cosmic dust (no that’s not a drug reference…what do you take me for?), I ain’t paying that…enjoy your breakfast of Mickeys candy kids…Helios knows we don’t belong here…

Did I already mention the incredible views for breakfast though? Well…it’s because they were pretty incredible. Nowhere I’d rather be shouting at the kids and Jo to wake up and get ready…GET UP looks at the view….COME ON!!! THERES A MASSIVE QUEUE FOR EARLY ENTRY ALREADY!!! looks at the view. Ahhh, it worked…finally. Few quick pics of the views and a last appreciation for the room…farewell Helios, we love you and your fully automated lights and curtains…oh; and your EPIC views!!!

The early park crowd already amassing over the bridge…quick luggage drop and we’re joining in the madness. 8:45 and a 50/50 split to the Wizarding World and Super Nintendo World as the Helios Gentry forego the usual rabble. Ooo, first in line, and an empty Wizarding World…wow, this place may be devoid of anything but a badass ride, a fantastically beastly show and some delicious restaurants, but damn does it look good. 5 minutes later and the masses arrive behind us as the team members cower in fear at the angry mob ready to watch the trial of that naughty naughty woman. I may not 100% agree with her views, but damn does she have style.

The pleads of the team members fall on deaf ears “BURN THE WITCH!!!”; damn that guy hates Umbridge. “We will be releasing you now, please don’t trample us”…3,2,1…STAMPEDE!!! Grayson leads the pack and swiftly tramples a handful of people on his way to getting us amongst the first 10 people to witness the trial. Good job kid…ride doesn’t open until 10am, but at least we’re here…and of course the kids are putting on a show. Place your bets everyone, it’s the Ministry Fight Club; but we won’t talk about it.

Delay…of course; great use of early park admission, no idea how long we’ll be, but we’re sticking it out…even if it takes all day? Well…we’ll stick it out until 11ish…of course the kids need a pee…perfect; but at least we get to use the super secret Ministry toilets…oooo, magical.

It’s alive…it’s alive; oh, wrong Universe…ummm; Harry waves his wand and sorts it out (see, not as cool sounding). An echoing applause fills the Ministry corridors (sadistic bunch wanting to watch the pink cladded cat demon stand trial). Aaaaaannd we’re on, literally on the first elevator of the day, glad we didn’t leave like all those other fools; bloody Mudbloods!! Again, absolutely blows my mind with the mix of screens, animatronics and ride elements. It’s still no Monsters Unchained, but it’s a pretty close second. Alaska manages to dupe the wizarding world and make Delores her stooge. Well done babes; let’s get out of here before they realise.

Hmmm…anyone hungry? Ha…you know the answer by now…Cafe L’air De La Sirene…amazingly scenic, and some delicious food. Grab a few baguettes, but we know what everyone is here for really…the Butterbeer Crepe!!! My god this was delicious…if you like Butterbeer (well…the foam; not the fizzy piss of the OG BB), then is this the treat for you. Should have bought 2…I was destined to feed off the scraps left my greedy gravel party. Jo you don’t even like Butterbeer…”shut up or you’re next!!!”…oh, ok…can I just lick the plate then please?

Well…there’s not point in even look at Stardust today by the looks…delays spark a park wide riot as a mob has now formed along the entrance to the ride…”TAKE US TO THE MOON!!!”. Guys guys, chill out…Pizza or Frosty?…they’re both about 100m. It’s a bit mad mind, some elements of this park still run on constant predictable delays. Stardust seems to be one of those…you’d be lucky to catch them racing by the looks (that pesky Yellow side…people hate it for a reason). Seemed to be running fine yesterday…but then the curse of Jordan strikes. Guessed you’re doomed to suffer as a 1 and done…nowhere near Velocicoaster level though, so not a huge loss (or so I tell her…)

‘’YAAAAAHOOO ITS’A ME, MARIO!!!”. Time for Super Nintendo World…and this time; we’re in it for the coins!!!

This place is so vibrant and fun, and actually incredible overwhelming…but it’s soo soo cool. Last week we missed a lot of the interactive elements on account of that pesky rain and our aim to hit all the rides and not waste out express pass. So today…we were taking it all in. Collect the keys to level up and fight Bowser Jr…simple right? I was a SNES kid…I know the score. Smash a turtle shell? Easy sort out a Goomba? Completed it mate…oh no; a team challenge? I’m doomed…

Right, Grayson…Alaska…Jordan; don’t mess this up; hit the alarm clocks before the plant wakes up (sounds trippy right? Well thats’a Mario!!). It was all going so well…for most of us. The Pirahna Plant wakes up…right!!! Who screwed up??!! Grayson quickly points the finger at Alaska, but then has 4 pointing right back…that’s right kid…you missed all the clocks. Damn it!!! Grayson becomes the pariah, and we treat him with the appropriate levels of distain whilst the team member add insult to injury with the ‘Mario failure’ sound bite. Wah waahhh.

It’s ok, we’ll pull it back. We hammer the next challenge and are granted a third key, and access to fight Bowser Jr…that little bugger won’t know what’s hit him. As a team (I know I know…Grayson redeems himself), we claim the Golden Mushroom and conquer the kingdom…Can I get a HELL YEAH??!!! Peach runs up to me, her hero, and throws herself in my arms…Jordan swiftly knocks her in her ass. “Stay away bitch…you take the Mushroom people…this handsome devil is mine”. Hmmm…well, a slight embellishment of the truth; but it makes me feel good soo…

Princess suing for GBH, we quickly exit the Mushroom Kingdom and seek refuge in Donkey Kong Country…they’re take anyone there, as long as you buy their Tropical Banana Crush Float, even if the ice cream is too cold for Alaska….Ice cream too cold? My goodness, how very dare it be??!! Added bonus that no one else wants this delicious treat…it’s all mine!!! It also comes with a souvenir cup…excellent, more branded rubbish for my collection.

The big DK (no I didn’t miss a few letter out to stop being censored…I mean Donkey Kong) has decided to grace us with his presence. With the sacrifice of a handful of Bananas ( Grayson you don’t need to slaughter them first…that’s just for your sadistic pleasure), we were allowed passage to meet the king of the Kongs (wait…wouldn’t that make him King Kong?). Very fun interaction…even if Alaska did try and steal a few bananas from him…quick, escape to Yoshi’s Adventure; via the gift shop?! Ahh yes…all Alaskas tantrumming deserves a reward…apparently. It’s ok…we’ll have the last laugh, we’re doing Yoshi’s Adventure as a punishment.

Last time we were here, Yoshi was briefly turned into a water ride, so would be nice to experience it without the threat of drowning. Only problem, we’re stuck in a line for over half hour with ole smelly feet Grayson…poor bugger has ruined his favourite shoes dancing like no one was watching through puddles and puddles of water. Damn it Gray…now we all got to deal with this too…

Yoshi…done; don’t mean to brag, but we got the Golden Egg…mission complete.

Time to leave Nintendo World before Mario steals all my real life coins (I’ve spent way too much here today).

Quick stop in the choccie shop, captained by a Mole…”No Dean, it’s a Bear”…yeah yeah fine…the chocolate shop; captained by a Bear…makes so much more sense right? The captain swindles me out of $10 for a croissant (sayyy whaaaa??); bear-y sneaky…really made me paw-se to think about getting one. Ok I’ll stop now, getting a bit un-bear-able.

Back from the Moonship (and Dad joke prison), we land back in the land of Dragons…enter; Berk!!! Today we’re doing something different…we’re gonna meet Toothless!!! Don’t let the 100 minute wait deter you…Alaska demands it, so it’s worth it to keep the peace for an hour or so…

While I wait in the baking sun, praying a dragon flies overhead to give some respite, jo and the kids wait, sat in the shade. Good old fashioned hunter gatherer I am…no exchanging stereotypes in this family. Toothless’ handlers switching out like a game of dragon handler roulette, we wait with bated breath as all the shit handlers move on…hoping for Hiccup to grace us with his presence… 🤞come on Hiccup 🤞

Damn it…we got the shit Viking!!! I mean, she was perfectly lovely (not very Viking at all) and a great character to interact with, but she wasn’t Hiccup…not even Ruffnutt and Tuffnutt. Fuming mun!!! We did have such a great interaction though, and Alaska even hoodwinked her into thinking she was a sweet innocent kid. Don’t let the smiles fool you…she’s a real Viking warrior.

Exit to see Ruff and Tuff messing with some poor bloke, and bringing the Fyre Drill to him. Unlucky Gary!!

Mario Kart: Grayson’s challenge…Banana Skins, Shells and Bottles of Pee? Not sure that’s allowed Gray…didn’t matter, he was loading his arsenal anyways. Watch out Bowser!!!

Yes yes, poor Gray, his little bladder had decided the hour long line was too much and went on strike…oh no, it’s a repeat of the 2022 Seven Dwarves Mine Train…quick quick…what can we sacrifice?? The poor freestyle cup gets a new flavour; not sure I’ve seen this in the machines. Mmmm delicious…Jordan stop bloody chugging it!!!

Ahhh…the curse of Jordan strikes again. Terrified of Grayson new weapons, Bowser has second thoughts and take a bit to regroup his defences and sacrifice a few Koopas for the greater good. Best of luck…if it smells half as bad as his feet, you’re doomed!!

BOWSER!!! COWER AT THE SHELLS OF DEAN…PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DEMISE!!!

Aced it…143 coins and a trophy later and I’m signing autographs in the gift shop alongside Mario and Luigi…”Lads, Lads, Lads”…calm down Mario…just stick to the classics…”YAHOOOO”; that’s better.

Bowser brought the rain…it is hammering it down now; time to take refuge with the Toads at Toadstool Cafe. Some great themed food here, only issue? Bowser terrorises you periodically in search of Princess Peach. Quick…she’s here; just leave me eat my food in peace. Speaking of which…foods here.

Pretty delicious, and complimented with a host of Dad jokes from Jordan…nice one babes, you’ll make a good Dad yet!! Yeah so, good was nice and filling…didn’t have Mush-room left by the time we’d finished (ha…that’s definitely a Jo joke). Oh…enjoying the spicy meatballs Alaska? Her hunger for meatballs had taken her to Jordan’s plate, and undeterred by spice, was taking as many forkfuls of the stuff before the burn hit…worth it? Yeah hurts so good. Just take a drink and man up little loo.

Exit to the torrents and pray the stroller has miraculously donned its own rain cover. Nope…I guess Grayson was right; magic doesn’t exist. Desperate to ride Monsters Unchained once more, but now more worried than ever that Gill Man would get us (we are fighting on his turf I guess), we opted for an early-ish exit. I mean, it is 9pm, but it’s not quite park close. I feel like a loser and a disappointment.

Back to Helios with the now sub aquatic stroller, luggage collected…oh, that’s where the kids rain coats got to; and to the buses back to City Walk…to catch the bus to Cabana; well, if they let us on. The way the water was pouring out of this stroller, I’m a little on edge that we are bound to destroy the newly electric Epic bus fleet.

Right Gray…just open the gate for us. Gray…open the gate. GRAY??. Oh no, he’s only bloody lost his room key…and more importantly…his annual pass!!! Straight back to the bus…not there, scroll photos…Epic Bus Stop, damn, not in the pic. Maybe if we’d warned him that his constraint messing around would have consequences…oh, wait…

Bus driver was great, checked all the busses just in case, and the bloke at the lobby was great too…new room key, can do bugger all about the pass though. I think I’m most annoyed that we got the same character on his key card as Alaska this time; fuming like. Anyways, I have a plan…and have contacted any Universal Guest services that will listen.

Not the best end to the night, but not as bad as it could have been. I mean, at least we made it back ey?

Back to Disney tomorrow anyway…well, after I sort this bloody pass out in the morning. EPCOT, here we come…we have a date with the Chipmunks!!