The Great Fletchers Misadventures Eurotrip begins!!!

Sooo…today didn’t quite go as planned; but it went just as expected.

We’re off on our jaunt to Europe for a few days. Not quite in full on Eurotrip fashion though; there’ll be no absinthe fairies (who called me a fairy??!!) causing havoc, and rumour is that Scotty does know after all these years. I’m certain there will be some crazy escapades fit for a Matt Damon cameo though…

This is The Fletchers Misadventures: Europtripping!!!

So yes, back to it. We have a few bucket list theme parks to hit over the next few days; Plopsaland De Panne (yes; sounds hilarious, but home to a coaster many compare to the best in the world) & Phantasialand (apparently one of the most immersive  parks in Europe). Rounded up with a little trip to the West End and The Harry Potter Studio Tour. I know I know…more Harry Potter; aren’t we fed up of it by now? Hell no, get me a Butterbeer and a new wand; I’m kicking it Hufflepuff style.

I am very much looking forward to this…the rest of them? Yeah I guess they are too; well apart from Jordan who travels with us under duress…apparently. Poor thing.

Enough background…back to the story.

Wanted an early start…it’s a long drive and we decided on a quick stop in Legoland to break up the monotony. What I got? A later than planned, but earlier than expected start. Yep; imagine my rage when I’d been up, fed and cleaned animals to return to 3 lazy buggers still fast asleep.

UP! UP! UP!!!

An hour later we’re just managing to get out the door and set on our way…first stop; Legoland!! “Yay!!”…that’s enough sarcasm Jo; you don’t even want to be here.

Only a brief 3 hour journey to brickville; made all the better by Alaska throwing more of a shit fit than a shit fitting shit fitter after she dropped her colours all over the back of the van. Great; thank goodness this trip doesn’t involve a lot of driving ey? 🙄

Shit fit ceased following a quick pit stop to replenish said lost colours and pick up some liquid sanity (no it’s too early for drinking; coffee…I mean coffee).

Back on the road…Grayson decides that the silence since Alaskas tantrums has been negated was too loud and burst out into spontaneous verse; irritating, high pitched, spontaneous verse…Alaska bring back the tantrums; I can’t deal with this.

Thank goodness, all that singing went to his bladder and soon enough we had pulled in for a pee break, and a Subway as payment for the in car entertainment. Stop long enough for Grayson to forget how to sing, fill up and head back on the road…

Almost there; though Grayson has somehow lost his Lego bloodhound abilities…forcing me to use a sat nav for the conclusion of our journey. He had some much promise…

Finally here and great to see Legoland diving in to the theme with construction walls up around the entrance as a gathering of the world’s top Lego builders convene to finish off the new Legoland Windsor entranceway. Looking good; and great to see Legoland flexing their ability to maintain visitor numbers in spite of it being a bit of a construction zone front of house; really going all in with the theme I guess. Not like they were closed over the winter to do this or anything…nice one Merlin.

Soo…turns out 2pm is the best time to enter Legoland. Bugger all crowds, and the perfect opportunity for the kids to paddle in the stream leading down the hill. Wait what? Kids!!! STOP PADDLING IN THE BLOODY STREAM!!

Slightly damp feet later; Alaska takes the opportunity to have a bit of a dance with the Legoland Dragon before racing down the entranceway slides….ahhh, to be a kid ey? JORDAN GET OFF THE BLOODY SLIDES!!!

Jo and Gray bugger off to build like a bunch of losers (I know, building Lego in Legoland?; LOOOOOSSSSSEEEEERRRRSSSSS!!!!); Me and Alaska head to set up for a race…the Minifigure Speedway!!!

Alaska is just about tall enough, and managed to get on to take on that glory hunting Lego bitch…Roxie. Move aside, Alaska is in town to lead ‘Team Legends’. Full of confidence, Alaska takes the reins and gears us up for battle (some say she intimidated the staff to rig to results; not me though, I’d never accuse Alaska of cheating…please believe me little Loo).

We won…obviously; never in doubt. Never heard Alaska giggle so much…and have such a great time; she’s so damn cute and such an adrenaline junkie. Arms up the whole time and a big beaming smile on her face; gorgeous!!

Fresh from their stint in the loser workshop, Jordan and Grayson finally catch up and head to join the race and manage to also win. It’s sad that this is the high point of the day…

Moving on…The great popcorn tantrum of 2025 ensues as my desire to save £5 on a small cone of stale popcorn ultimately fails. Usually my above average parenting skills coupled my SWAT level negotiation tactics would have talked Alaska down off the metaphorical ledge. Today though…well; I was bested as Alaska reached the next level…park employees actually stopped to ask if she was ok. ‘Yeah mate, she’s just crazy…’

Ok, I get it…off back to Heartlake City to get in debt for coloured corn. Cheers Alaska.

High on victory, and with the sweet scent of rainbow popcorn filling the air (who am I kidding, it’s just coloured Butterkist) we headed to train some Dragons in the Knights Kingdom. Bit of fun, great little kiddie coaster and some great dark ride elements…

Don’t confuse it with the Dragon themed area at Epic Universe though; you’ll be sorely disappointed. I didn’t stop crying for an hour after I realised.

Only a few handfuls of fights over the freestyle cup drinks; why not init? It’s free refills, and we can drink as much as we want…but why not act like it’s the last drop of water in the world? Bloody hell kids!!! It’s ok Dean…only 5 more days of this.

Only an hour left, and me and Jo get outvoted for the Sky Lion (wait what? How the hell did that happen? There’s only 4 of us!!), so B class Monsters Unchained it is. What this isn’t the ride at Epic either??!!

Haunted House Monster Party…want a song more irritating than Small World? This may just be the ride for you!!

Dracula’s party tunes stuck in my head; it’s time to leave this place and head to the cheapest hotel I could find within walking distance of the channel tunnel. Kids lost their ability to walk up the Legoland hell hill (if you know, you know)…”Dad I can’t make my legs straight”. Walk with bent legs they Alaska; no what I’m carrying you up here; wait how the hell did you get into my arms?

Manage to avoid the gift shop and head onto part 2 of today’s journey…Folkestone bound!!!

Only 2 hours and a confusing as hell M20 roadworks to navigate. Obviously I made an easy journey stressful and got caught up in Operation Brock (as I have since discovered). The road split, roadworks and diversions…all of a sudden I’m following a load of HGV’s; damn it Dean!!! The stress and torment eventually ends and I merge back with my people; destined to spend the evening stressing about an incoming fine and franticly googling whether it’s a common occurrence. Turns out I’m not the only moron luckily…

Anyways, Maccas for tea (Grayson was literally begging…it got really pathetic), and earlyish night…up at 4am…it’s Plopsaland day!!!!